the Tango Curse

I find myself in a dilemma. There is a beginner tanguero whom I happen to be quite attracted to. But so long ago I swore to myself never to date a tango dancer ever again.

I don't have the temperament to be able to see my significant other in the arms of another quite so passionately and not become passionately irritated. When I was younger I was a lot more open minded and highly accepting. Now as I'm getting older, it'll be over my dead body. And if my significant other is okay with me passionately in the arms of another, then he won't be my significant other for long.

While I understand many people go through these things and discover for themselves who they actually are, I know myself. It's a personal preference, a personal character makeup. I'm a hot-blooded woman. I choose to be with hot-blooded men.

And so... this beginning with this beginner tanguero... it's gotten me in all sorts of knots. What am I going to do? I'll tell you right from the get-go: We're going to torture ourselves into oblivion.

It's complicated.

A note on cabaceo

To the person wondering about cabaceo in such places, I will give you this:

I have tangoed in many cities, many countries and cabaceo works in crowded places. The larger the tango community the more cabaceo is used. In Buenos Aires where there are dancers galore, cabaceo is a necessity. Cabaceo in smaller tango communities, where there are only 10-50 dancers total, cabaceo is a clueless endeavour. In the States, cabaceo is less used than say... BA or Paris, where there is a larger network of dancers.

I personally prefer cabaceo, because then I don't have to say no to someone's face, I can just look away. I have stopped feeling obligated to dance with people because I don't want to embarrass them. For me, it is no longer quantity of tandas or partners, but quality.

Use your judgment with cabaceo. The more advance the dancer, the more he/she understands cabaceo. Relatively new tango communities do not understand it.