tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620431287674527501.post3826489161113655049..comments2023-07-08T02:39:59.762-07:00Comments on Confessions Of A Tango Dancer: My Tango Brothers: Making Sure Every Woman Has Partners At MilongasMark Andersenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03624215008409343913noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620431287674527501.post-63727665571431307602009-02-08T12:42:00.000-08:002009-02-08T12:42:00.000-08:00I only wish men would read this!! I have been tak...I only wish men would read this!! I have been taking lessons for about seven to eight months, and after five months of classes I began attending a Milonga once or twice a week. Which was wonderful but then I noticed that I was only dancing one tanda or worse not being asked to dance at all.<BR/><BR/>I have even joined several "classmates" once or twice and it is still the same, sitting on the sideline watching my classmates dance tanda after tanda... <BR/><BR/>So for that reason I have stopped going to Milonga's. Will I leave Tango? No for I enjoy my lessons and my teacher. <BR/><BR/>But I will wait several months before I even consider attending another Milong again.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620431287674527501.post-78746020092326364412009-01-19T16:35:00.000-08:002009-01-19T16:35:00.000-08:00I know I am commenting on an older story but it re...I know I am commenting on an older story but it really hit the spot and gives me some hope. There were so many times when I left milongas after getting only one tanda or worse zero. It's extremely frustrating to watch your friends get asked to dance repeatedly while I wind up sitting on the sidelines watching bags and saving seats. <BR/><BR/>I'm going to stick with my tango studies and try going out with more leads to milongas. Maybe my tanda luck will change.<BR/><BR/>Thanks again!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620431287674527501.post-63447071109878272812008-08-13T16:14:00.000-07:002008-08-13T16:14:00.000-07:00If I saw someone reading a book at a milonga, I'd ...If I saw someone reading a book at a milonga, I'd assume that he or she had no interest in dancing, and was simply there waiting for someone else, or was sitting out due to an injury. As a follower new to the bay area (but not new to tango), I'm in favor of men noticing and dancing with women out of their normal patterns. However, here's a thought for women: if you're not getting dances, why not try asking people to dance yourself? I know this is a topic of much debate, but many men I've talked to in the bay area say that they like it when women ask them to dance. Of course, then you have to be prepared for possible rejection, just like they do...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620431287674527501.post-41931065905219396822008-07-17T12:06:00.000-07:002008-07-17T12:06:00.000-07:00Thanks, Anonymous, for a really good question. No...Thanks, Anonymous, for a really good question. Not to answer your question with another question, but I'm curious why you'd want to read a book at a milonga? <BR/><BR/>It's a bit difficult to answer this question without knowing that, so let me start instead by telling you what thoughts I'd probably have. <BR/><BR/>Unless you're a student who has to keep up with reading for a class, what about using the time between tandas to talk to other women and men? I have a number of friends that have made new friends with other folks between tandas this way. And I can tell you as a guy that when a woman strikes up a conversation with me it's a great way to dance the next tanda with her. Some women won't ask men to dance, but by simply talking to guys at milongas a lot of those men will ask those women to dance. I recently started making a point of asking one or two strangers to dance at every milonga, but otherwise I ask my frineds and acquaintances first. So, if you struck up a conversation with me at a milonga I'd make a point of asking you to dance.<BR/><BR/>The main reason I do this is I always end up thinking "wow, she seems really nice--I'd like to dance with her". I don't know what level you're at, but it's meaningless to me if a woman is a beginner. In fact, part of me considers it a challenge to see if I can lead her well, which is fun because I want to make her look as good as possible. All I care about is that I enjoy talking with my follows and that she makes a sincere effort to follow my lead (even when my lead is off!).<BR/><BR/>Aso, if I saw someone reading a book I'd probably think they're a bit shy. There are so many great women and men at milongas, it's a wonderful opportunity to make new friends.<BR/><BR/>I hope this helps some. If you have any followup questions, by all means ask away.<BR/><BR/>Thanks!<BR/>MarkAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620431287674527501.post-49922670912398493632008-07-14T15:27:00.000-07:002008-07-14T15:27:00.000-07:00May I ask, would it be rude to read a book while w...May I ask, would it be rude to read a book while waiting to dance? I've always wondered..Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620431287674527501.post-73325879056241701052008-07-01T19:02:00.000-07:002008-07-01T19:02:00.000-07:00Yes, Anonymous, I know a number of women whom have...Yes, Anonymous, I know a number of women whom have also gotten frustrated with not getting to dance much. Some people come & go in tango. I've had friends end up feeling more comfortable in salsa, ballroom, West Coast swing etc. and that was the right decision for them.<BR/><BR/>But given your passionate love of tango, I'd like to toss out an idea. A friend of mine almost gave up tango for exactly the same reason as you. So, what we do now is coordinate specific milongas (normally one a week) where we agree to meet. Then she coordinates with one or two of her other male friends and/or couples to be sure she'll always have at least a couple of leaders she knows at every milonga. Since we've been doing this she normally dances at least a half dozen tandas at each milonga. Plus, over time other guys have seen how much fun she is to dance with, so more guys she didn't know before are asking her to dance, too. It's all kind of steamrolled to the point where she's normally quite busy at milongas.<BR/><BR/>I don't know if you live in the Bay area. But if you do, I'd love to do this with you, too. It's fun for me because I always know I'll have a friend at every milonga.<BR/><BR/>If you don't live in the Bay area, perhaps you could try this with some of your male friends in tango?<BR/><BR/>If you'd like to try this with me, just email me at MarkAndersenSF@gmail.com & we'll coordinate meeting at an upcoming milonga (i.e., how about starting this Thursday night at Nora's Tango Week? It's the kick-off milonga & it's free: win/win). It's fun for me to make new tango friends--especially ones who passionately love it like yourself.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620431287674527501.post-88116784821974323292008-06-30T23:18:00.000-07:002008-06-30T23:18:00.000-07:00I am not the only woman I know who eventually gave...I am not the only woman I know who eventually gave up her passionate love of tango due the wallflower syndrome. Some of these women are good dancers, and some found greener pastures in ballroom, West Coast Swing, and other dances. <BR/>Thank you for posting this! Happy dancing!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620431287674527501.post-77064364526028122222008-06-27T17:08:00.000-07:002008-06-27T17:08:00.000-07:00Mille Grazie - muchisimas gracias - Mark, from all...Mille Grazie - muchisimas gracias - Mark, from all the women I know.<BR/>LailaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620431287674527501.post-2874863504515381272008-06-26T23:56:00.000-07:002008-06-26T23:56:00.000-07:00Thanks for this!!Thanks for this!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620431287674527501.post-13844384092227506092008-06-26T20:44:00.000-07:002008-06-26T20:44:00.000-07:00But when I've seen you at milongas, Tangobaby, you...But when I've seen you at milongas, Tangobaby, you've always seemed to have so many tandas. I hope to see you at Nora's Tango Week, so we can tango. I'm going to both the weekend & week, as well as most of the milongas. Can't wait!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5620431287674527501.post-32557324548823204452008-06-26T16:23:00.000-07:002008-06-26T16:23:00.000-07:00Wow, Mark, this is a post that actually gives me s...Wow, Mark, this is a post that actually gives me some hope! <BR/><BR/>;-)tangobabyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01288974184200212536noreply@blogger.com